Recently a family asked me to lead a memorial service for a loved one. Lots of thought went into the ‘components’ of the service for this lady who I had known well. At least, I’d always thought I did.
Murray Smith
Tributes were shared by family and friends. I was one of many gaining increased realisation what a seriously significant lady she was.
Touching other’s lives deeply, shaping and leading amazing initiatives, her vibrant faith in God resulted in bettering the lot of countless people.
She invested her life in being an encourager, even while dealing courageously with her own challenges. Her care and love for others was real. It showed in the relentless acts of kindness and pouring herself out to uplift others… like a jigsaw puzzle, inspiring stories came one after another – each piece added clarity and grandeur to the overall picture.
Evidently, I’d only known her in measure- not nearly as well as I thought I had. Knowing what I do now, I would have expressed respect and appreciation to her more than previously. It’s too easy to take people for granted while they’re with you.
Many times, I have been a part of a funeral or a memorial service where wonderful eulogies and tributes have been offered in memory of the deceased… and frequently I’ve wondered, “were these appreciative expressions of love, respect and care vocalised for this person while they were still alive”?
Two women mourn. Photo: RDNE Stock pexels.com
It’s a pity that many times we don’t say the things we should to others, while we have them with us. Something to consider, is that instead of waiting until a person has passed away to express heartfelt sentiments ‘posthumously,’ perhaps sharing our respect and our appreciation for them while they are alive to hear it, would bless them.
I found this with my dad in his later years. Our family planned a “This was Your Life,” style celebration with hundreds of family, friends and associates coming to honour him. Stories were told, visual images and music portrayed his story. He enjoyed a Book of Memories. He loved that evening and often referred to it in the few years remaining until he died. I witnessed what a great lift to a person’s wellbeing it can be to honour and acclaim them while they are alive.
Sitting with a family dealing with a loved one’s terminal condition, I was asked to address an issue on their behalf in a family meeting.
A beautiful, loving Mum was ‘shielding’ her family from pain and loss, refusing to allow any ‘negative death talk’. The family ached to have meaningful and needed conversations as the end seemed to loom closer… while, that communication ‘door’ remained tightly shut. An appeal to prepare well and allow room for important things to be said, was heeded – it brought great release and inner healing in the following days, prior to her passing.
Time is drifting on for everyone – perhaps there’s conversations you should attend to… before it’s too late?
Memorial service. Photo: Pavel Danilyuk pexels.com
