I visited an elderly couple in an aged care facility. Their marriage had stood the test of multiple decades – understandably, natural physical deterioration from those passing years showed, but not a hint of fractiousness could extinguish the certain ’glow’ they radiated. They were happy in each other’s company and an air of tenderness and mutual honour prevailed.
Murray Smith
A photo of them together taken more than 60 years previously, sat on a side table. The young man in his late twenties with striking eyes and a penetrating gaze stood tall – his beautiful young bride seated alongside. She was lovely- just a hint of make-up applied conservatively to perfect skin and complexion.
The photo highlighted a jarring disparity between how these two used to look, compared to their present reality. With good nature they accepted each other’s physical loss of form, visited upon them with the passing of time. In spite of aches and pains and mobility challenges, they felt blessed – considering how the script of others had played out.
Group of seniors playing cards in the retirement house
She chuckled at how his ‘hiking’ days had long gone along with his ‘teeth’ and the false ones he’d used weren’t much good since ‘his gums shrunk’… his drooling and snoring weren’t easy to take either. He teased her about forgetting things. Gently now though, since her memory and confusion had begun suggesting more serious underlying concerns.
Witnessing the ageing of a beautiful young woman and handsome young man was sobering – a reminder of what a harsh toll, the relentless passing of time exacts.
In a health and beauty aware culture where being young and gorgeous is prized, no wonder people search for interventions to forestay the relentless advance of time and of appearing old that is dreaded by so many. A well-known Hollywood star admitted feeling ‘terror’ about getting old and to taking 60 anti-ageing drugs daily.
Seeking out cosmetic procedures to help restrain the inevitable impact of passing time is common now. Speaking with a registered nurse working in ‘appearance medicine’, gave me insight into the motivation of more and more clients seeking to be a refreshed version of themselves. Increasingly, it’s people younger than before now joining the once predominantly older clientele seeking to improve their appearance and banish, or more realistically, restrain evidence of ageing.
The ageing process will challenge all of us. Since there’s no perfect ‘elixir of youthfulness’, even with what aesthetic practitioners can offer, it’s sensible to add practical things around nutrition, exercise and personal care that people can do to assist ageing well. Taking care of yourself physically and maintaining healthy interests has its place but of utmost importance is taking care of your inner life… it’s proven that our spiritual and emotional wellbeing promotes longevity and ‘ageing well’.
Carrying toxic emotions like bitterness, unforgiveness, remorse and fears into sunset years, introduces a lethal destructive cocktail totally unconducive to wellbeing.
The couple I visited, had leaned more into God with age…it showed. They’d grasped truth from the Bible, ‘Beauty is fleeting… Though the outward man perishes, the inward is renewed daily…’
Improvements to our outward appearance can’t last. But attending to our spiritual life matters forever.
Senior husband and wife cooking together
