Practices display priorities

Murray Smith

While conversing with an older couple, the wife described how she did not share in the slightest, her husband’s enthusiastic, avid passion for golf. She described earlier years in their marriage where she felt abandoned- a ‘golf widow’ – was the term used.

Time and effective communication had resolved those difficulties. Now she happily releases him to enjoy his recreational outlet which could have come at the expense of the marriage. It hadn’t come to that because they’d found balance by determining priorities and refusing to allow anything – be it recreation, business, another person, whatever – to create distance in their relationship.

What we deem to be of ‘worth,’ we’ll hold onto dearly, sacrifice for, invest our time, attention and resources into. Our practices reveal where our priorities lie, making plainly visible what we value in life. Today there’s so many distractions and things clamouring for our attention that matters of great importance all too easily, if allowed to, become overlooked or neglected… and strangely, trivial stuff assumes precedence over majorly consequential matters.

We all have 168 hours in a week to fill with eating. sleeping, family time, working, studying, social or leisure activity, sports or hobbies… and on the list goes. Where we fit everything in without omitting something essential, can be a challenge.

That’s where it becomes important to order our priorities with thought and care.

I spoke with a young couple planning to marry, about their need to set priorities together. He had an interest in pursuing a journey of a spiritual nature… while she evidently had almost zero inclination for anything ‘spiritual’. This was no mere trivial deal such as ‘he loves Marmite on his toast while she can’t stand it’. To not be in agreement on crucial, significant ‘life-issues’ is a very big deal as it sets up a dynamic where someone is likely to start feeling they do the compromising to keep the peace.

I’m always surprised, how in determining priorities, most give scant thought to spiritual values, life beyond death and the temporary nature of life itself… the fact this life is fleeting and in fact a preparation for what is eternal, barely warrants a thought in way too many people’s perspective.

I was distraught to discover while pulling favourite merino and possum fur blended pullovers and cardigans out of storage, for the onset of cooler autumn weather, that everyone one of them had been ravaged (by moths) I assume. Clusters of holes were everywhere – way beyond what any skilled needle worker could ever darn.

That upsetting discovery triggered in my mind words spoken by Jesus… they’re relevant to ‘priorities’. He said, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.” (Matthew 6 verse 19)

The point is that it’s a tragic oversight to think of this life only when ordering priorities and to neglect taking into account the crucial priority of preparation for eternity.

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